Here’s me, Will I Am looking morose. Thank God for that Bloody fan behind me. Some fancy pants German inspired piece of technology, whisper quiet and doesn’t look like a fan. Who gives a shit as long as it keeps me, Will I Am cool on these bloody hot days.
You all know I love tennis but since the bloody servants have bought the new big f*#& off telly I couldn’t care less.
Federer Smederer, get me a smaller telly so I can get myself a bite-sized snack.
BEFORE BIG TELLY…I LOVE WIMBELDON
NEW F*#* off Telly…I hate the Aus Open!
Will I AM
What’s a cat to do, the bloody servants have been out all weekend or hungover.
The ginger one, yep him, bloody hopeless, smelling of stale beer.
He forgot to get me my second dinner and third treat each day.
I’ve been forced to rustle up some of my own grub from this book. Gourmet, Smormet the food in here isn’t good enough for this Cat!!!!!!!!!
Me, Will I Am, forced to contemplate cooking some grub for myself.
Somebody get me outta here – the ginger servant snorts and farts in his sleep
Meow Will I Am
The ginger servant is spewing with me. First of all he rushed over to the other side of the complex while I was having a friendly chat with another cat. Sure I had it in a full-nelson but it’s because it said I looked funny since I’d had my coat shaved.
Then I got banished to my own unit where I promptly sat by the bird bath & just because I was shooing a bird away and it accidentally got caught in my mouth the servant whacked it out of my gob and it flew to freedom, like I was going to eat it.
Then I was made to come inside, and dropped leaves and sticks off my bum onto the servant’s freshly vacuumed carpet. I don’t know whether I’m meant to be inside or outside today?
Can you believe I’d even do all that he claims?
MEOW Will I Am
I recently found out my stool has been given away to the bloody Thompson Twins. AARGGHH give me my bloody stool back before I kill Yah.
Will I Am
Bloody Goran the window cleaner has arrived. He comes every 6 months and gives me the shits. Putting his ladder in awkward spots, then he tries to tell me off when I try to climb the ladder so I can get to the roof easier.
A cartoon image of Goran ‘The Window Cleaner’
Oh well he’ll bugger off soon, at least I’ll be able to see out the window easier so I can keep an eye on the neighbourhood.
MEOW Will I Am.
Me outside inspecting Goran’s work while he works inside.
Friggin bloody effin climate change isn’t real.
My arse take a look…I’m frazzled
Only bonus is in the afternoon they’ll be desperate to get to the bird bath and I’ll be there to make sure everyone takes their turn. MEOW Will I Am
I’m not very happy that my favorite servant is away. I’m stuck with the stupid ginger one who forgets to feed me and doesn’t clean my litter tray properly. Plus he spends half the day blowing off and burping. Get me outta here!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meow Will I Am